Welcome to 2021! Even the “1” number makes this year feel so hopeful — like we’re all stepping forward into something truly fresh and new. I tried to say a few words about 2020 on Instagram this weekend, but frankly I have so many thoughts and lessons that I wanted to actually get down on a real blog post. In fact, in starting to do some serious debriefing and planning for the new year, this is going to be multiple blog posts.

Like many of you, Martin and I had so much time together that we decided to really take a deep look at many aspects of our lives. It caused us to build new systems and habits, take on new hobbies, really take a look at our spending, and we’re so grateful that we got to spend so much time together this year: possibly the most for the foreseeable future! It was definitely the most time in the years that we have known each other. It was a magical thing to experience while being engaged.

We are also very fortunate to have not skipped a beat when it comes to working this whole year. We pivoted to working from home (out of our tiny apartment) in early March and that hasn’t changed (except we moved!) and doesn’t look like it will any time soon. We are grateful to have both found ourselves embracing technology that was so clearly vital in this major shift in the world and we’ve been able to help others do the same for their businesses and livelihoods.

With all of that in mind, our day to day was pretty wonderful. We cooked even more than in years past, Olive has gotten spoiled with all of the attention and we explored so many unknown paths in our neighborhood on foot. We called more friends and family and we have had countless honest and raw conversations about how we were living our life once forced to take a pause.

A common theme of this year has been “high highs and low lows” and our experience is right in line with that. Our day to day was overall very pleasant and there is something to be said about learning to be content with so much less. But this was all under an umbrella of uncertainty and learning that the things we all lost this year like Freedom and Connection are truly priceless.

Lows

I was nervous to say the words out loud when the feelings were coming up, but in hindsight I experienced so much fear and anxiety in 2020. One of my defense mechanisms was to just carry forward and talk myself out of what I was feeling in the moment so I wouldn’t overthink everything but damn - that fear around what was going to happen as everything shut down in March was soooooooooo real.

Just when we started to settle into a comfortable normal of life at home, we had the comfort rightfully ripped apart to examine the reality of oppression against people of color in the United States and globally, which has all been exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic. There was some serious unrest in Seattle and again being Honest (honesty is another take away of 2020), I had moments of fear about what upheaval would look like here. Were the conversations constructive or destructive? I think there were individuals with both agendas.

I had a lot of moments of not understanding what conflicting sources of information were saying and having to flex my research muscle to get to what I understood as Truth in these difficult situations. While challenging at the time, this practice lead to a lot more confidence in decision-making and supporting my community in the second half of the year. The Presidential Election was yet another major test of these practices in Discernment and both forced me to take an honest look at the state of my local community as well as the country at large. There was a lot of ugly. But proud to say the conversations with my closest friends and family were productive.

Like many, I also lost loved ones this year. I lost a grandparent as well as a friend, mentor and teacher (this one to COVID) and also bore witness to so much pain and suffering on the planet at large. It felt very heavy and unsurmountable at times.

Highs

…At yet, we all persisted. Just that notion alone is so powerful to thing of coming out of this year with all of that business in the rearview. Not only that but I actually had some incredible moments too.

I feel like I noticed spring for the first time in years. Growing up I always remembered spring as just a slightly warmer but still wet and soppy version of winter. here in the PNW This year with all of our walking, we noticed so many beautiful flowers bloom in neighbors’ yards and watched all of the blossoming of life before moving into summer.

My parents and I were able to safely visit my brother in Montana. Besides my friend Jess’s bachelorette party in February in Colorado, that was my only major travel of the year. We had many trips planned to Astoria for wedding planning but ended up having only one in both January and February. All trips involved a lot of nature, good food and laughs. The most important thing was being surrounded by people who I care about deeply and making memories.

Summer involved some exceptional hiking and backpacking (I always resolve to do more the following year!) and I got to celebrate my own bachelorette, virtually. It was the first day since the pandemic started that I really felt like a bride and it was a huge reminder that near and far, I am surrounded by the best girlfriends I could have ever hoped for.

We also moved into our first home in our dream neighborhood in Seattle. This 100 year old bungalow really upgraded our work from home situation and making it feel just as we want has been one of the greatest joys of the year. After one round of serious decorating, a huge focus of the first quarter of this year is Cleansing and Refreshing this space. We read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up last year and then moved and were showered in gifts so it’s time to go back and do some tidying!

And of course the best week of 2020 was our wedding. We are so fortunate that after months of deliberation and changed plans, we were able to safely have our families and my grandparents attend our wedding ceremony. The day was more special and intimate then we could have ever imagined and I can’t wait to tell the story to future children. I’m hopeful that we will be able to have a reception in fall 2021, but there is no doubting that October 10th, 2020 was our day. It was so powerful and romantic. If you are an engaged couple caught in the uncertainty of what to do right now, if you want to get married, have the micro-ceremony. It’s seriously so emotional, part of me wonders why we ever bother with the pomp and circumstance of the larger events. And you can always throw a party later!

Life Lessons

I got some feedback from friends on lessons learned this year and have a few of my own. Some are more serious than others (I think a lot of the serious ones for myself I already recorded above) but I hope you enjoy some of these.

1. Baking soda has almost infinite uses in the home
2. Not commuting 5 times a week = more sleep and personal time
3. It’s ok to accept support from friends and loved ones
4. We can color and cut our own hair!
5. Being married is the best part of wedding planning
6. Joy is a mental choice independent of external factors
7. Walking in nature is great therapy
8. D&D still works really well virtually
9. Reading can substitute for travel if it’s the right book
10. The feeling of “coming home” is really nice and I miss it from just “being home”
11. The LOTR movies are great at Christmas
12. Nature does really well when humans slow down
13. When it comes to your financial transactions, unfortunately you have to be the one to make sure they are completed correctly. Trust no one else.
14. Games where you accuse people of lying are the best (Secret Hitler, Among Us, etc.)
15. How to make: a turkey, sourdough cinnamon rolls, ramen noodles, grilled corn, perfectly barbecued chicken breast, honey infusions for cocktails, great homemade margaritas, tasty food from frozen ingredients, dried herbs, vegan BLTs, bacon vinaigrette, and a double chocolate layer cake
16. Gravy is the best Thanksgiving side dish hands down
17. No amount of evidence can sway some people to see Truth
18. Bumbuu
19. Dedicating 90+ days now to building a habit will serve you over the course of a year
20. That so many “obligations” we put on ourselves are meaningless. Do what you want to.